A year in review 2010 - Move to India

After a worse 2009, I was anticipating the 2010 was going to be equally difficult. The thoughts of permanently moving back to India is crossing my mind more than ever. But working there for the next 2o years was scaring me off. I started floating the idea in February to my father who vehemently opposed to that idea. He was of the impression that I should focus on my family and rising the kids in a good environment and not worry about them. Despite what he said, my wife and I felt that moving is just the right thing to do, even if it means temporarily. Moving would give us the flexibility of try to take my mother to different hospitals and trying any alternative medicines like Sidha and Ayurveda, which my father was not able to do on his own, given his medical condition.

January & February 2010

We started exploring the options of moving back to India. I went around asking for quotes for shipping things. It was not too bad, around 5K for moving the whole house. We were researching on areas to live in Bangalore. At times, the question was is Bangalore the right place to move. But I was convinced it was since it will allow me to keep my job and probably doing the same work for the same group but working remotely.

March 2010

Once we decided that we will try moving to India we started narrowing down schools. During my one week trip to Bangalore in July 2009, I had visited a couple of schools - Vibgyor and Greenwood High. I had liked Greenwood a little better than Vibgyor. That experience came handy and we approached both schools and decided on Greenwood High rather quickly. The fees seem like a little higher but given a lot of positive feedback on the net, we zeroed in. The admission process was rather smooth. We paid the admission fees to both children (one in 7th grade and the other in 3rd grade) and secured the seats. We also booked our one way tickets for May 18th. There was a lot of planning going on regarding renting the house and moving the things. After getting a few quotes to ship the household items, we also wanted to explore the option of storing the things in a storage facility along with the cars. While there was mixed opinions from people about storing things for a long time, we started visiting the storage facilities and getting an idea of what it takes.

In the mean time, I talked to my managers and got an OK to work from there for a period of 6 to 9 months. We thought this will give us time to test waters and we could eventually come back if we dont like.

April 2010

The preparations are in full swing now. We visited Chicago to catch up with a couple of friends before moving. We decided on the storage facility as we had to store the cars anyway. We took three units two for the cars and a temperature controlled unit for furniture and electronics. We started telling our friends that we are moving for a year - temporarily. We were not sure ourselves how things would work. My wife staying at home helped a whole lot, as she was taking care of preparations of packing, sorting out things to be thrown away and stored. We slowly started putting things in the box, disassembling furnitures etc. We listed our home for rent with a property management company.

May 2010

Got the keys to our storage. We completed packing and waiting for the EOGs to end. We booked a service apartment close to my workplace for 5 days. We also identified a broker who would help us find a home within a few days. We identified the areas where we want to live that is closer to school and work. Thanks to Google maps and internet, the world has shrunk!

A lot of things that we did not want to store were put up for sale. Things went by pretty fast, except for a Big Sony tube TV, which we finally donated to charity. People were coming by to look at the house for rent. The EOGs got over for my daughter. We moved all our things on 17th and stayed with a friend for the night. We left to India on May 18th.

In those final weeks, there were times that I would stay up and think if I am doing the right thing for my wife & kids, but there was never a clear answer. My brain and heart would fight for endless hours with neither winning. All my life, I had clear convictions of right and wrong, and would never waver once I make a decision. There is no right and wrong in this case and I realize that I have responsibilities as a son, father and husband. But I dont know which responsibilities that I have to discharge with a higher priority.

We reached Bangalore after a long trip. It just felt like another vacation trip to India. My cousin's son received us in the airport, we had never landed in Bangalore. The process was fast, luggage came quickly. And off we went to our service apartment. It was not great, but ok for a few days stay. After a quick shower, we decided to head out and search for apartments. Co-ordinated with the broker and took an auto to go around and see the Sobha cluster and surrounding apartments. I think it was a big mistake to take an auto we must have hired a taxi. It was hot and humid, we were tired. None of the houses shown were impressive, we returned home in the evening exhausted. We decided to continue looking next day.

We hired a taxi this time and it was a decent day. We say a few more apartments. We liked one we saw in SJR verity which would be furnished. We were leaning towards it, then he showed us a couple of apartments in a brand new complex called Divyashree Elan. We liked both of the apartments and decided to close in on one. We talked to the owners and started negotiating. The next day we went to friends house as it was a saturday. Left the kids there and went to look for more homes just in case we like something better. Eventually, we decided on Elan - which we realized multiple times later that was the best decision we made. We moved all our things from the service apartment to my friends and visited the school with the kids. We left for Erode (my home town), the same day. Spent a few days there with mom & dad. She was looking bad, weak, confused and depressed.

June 2010

We came back to Bangalore to get the keys. Moved our things and started buying household goods. My wife's sister came to help us. It took us less than a week to settle down. We bought furniture (couch, dining table, wooden cots) and beds. We bought the refrigerator, washing machine and a stove with a gas cylinder. We had to pay a premium for the cylinder but it was well worth it, we got the cylinder the next day. Life has started to revolve. We had to make a few more trips to the school to collect books, uniforms etc. We realized that there were a bunch of kids from the apartment complex going to the same school, which was a big relief.

July 2010 - Dec 2010

Life has become routine. There would be days when my daughter will be sad and on the verge of crying. She was slowly getting adjusted. My son was ok. The biggest win was neither of them refused to go to school. With minor illness here and there, we were adjusting fairly well. Enjoying the bangalore weather, bi-weekly or tri-weekly trips to Erode in the morning train trips, things were going ok. Not having a car was definitely a big drawback but the traffic scared me from driving. We had a Total Mall just across the road which helped our life immensely without a car. We would just hang around in the evenings, eat dinner in the weekends and just watch the young and dynamic crowd of Bangalore. The first couple of months we visited many malls in Bangalore - pretty much that is the only entertainment in Bangalore.

In the mean time, my wife has started to look for a job after a 4 1/2 years of lay over. It was difficult because she had 10+ years of experience and hence the expectations were very high. The employers had a hard time digesting the fact that some one can be an individual contributor even after so many years of experience. She had attended a few interviews in the mean time.

We decided to take the kids somewhere for christmas vacation. We ourselves have not seen Taj, so we decided to go to Delhi/Agra/Jaipur and made planning and preparations. It was overall a good trip, with minor inconveniences. Despite our language barriers it was not that difficult. We hired a taxi to go Agra and Jaipur and back to Delhi. We explored Delhi on our own. There was no wonder people fell in love with Taj, it was beyond any words would do justice. One would have to make a personal visit - no matter how many photographs and videos one might have seen.

During this trip, my wife was called and offered a job that she had attended an interview for many months ago.

Overall, 2010 was a mix bag of feelings. Joy & sorrow, achievements & disappointments, embracing new and leaving the old! Life goes on.