A year in review - 2009

January 1 2009 dawned just like another year. I did not have any clue on how this year would be transforming my life. The thought of returning to India has been crossing my mind for a few years now since the children were growing up. I was seriously considering moving back this year as my daughter would complete 5th grade and would be a logical end to the school system in US. After much thoughts and deliberations I put off the plans. (n+1 syndrome!). So we decided to atleast visit the family in India. We planned happily for a India trip as always with a stop over in Brussels and France. We left during the first week of June. We enjoyed our Europe stop over and Eiffel tower experience. We liked Brussels more than Paris because of the welcoming people and for the slow pace of life. After that we reached India, visited a few places like Kodaikanal. Spent a week in Bangalore office working. Finally our vacation was over and it was time to get back to work. We started on July 26th to travel back home.

Life has changed for worse on that day of August 26th 2009. I made an emergency trip to India when my parents got into accident and both were hospitalized. My dad semi-conscicously and my mom unconsciously. Doctors did not give much hope and I was under intense pressure to make a decision to move them to a nearby city for better hospital care. So I did. I moved them both to Coimbatore. My dad recovered well and not much improvement from my mom. She remained unconscious for over 15 days. Those probably were the worst days of my life. I was exposed to the harsh reality of how medical care can be in India. After living in US for 15 years, I came to rude awakening of the lack of respect for human life. I would wait in the ICU for hours in the morning and in the evening to wait for the doctor. There is no set time when he will visit and he would spend 30 secs (sometimes not even that) to say that she is alright. I never understood what it means but she was not responding.

I was under constant pressure from work as I had to leave my project midway and the project was falling apart since my departure. I wanted to get back to work to save my face. But the situation was no where close to allowing that to happen. After a frustrating 20 day ordeal in Coimbatore I decided to move them to Erode. My father can stay at home and I can go back and forth and I would have some support system in terms of friends and family. My mom was consicious now but she would not remember people, places, things etc. I hired a home nurse to stay with her, as her left side was completely paralyzed and she needed constant help in feeding, cleaning etc.

I was a little relieved after moving back to Erode and my father was recovered to some extent - but still struggling to walk. I started to work some from the hospital and home with the help of mobile wireless from Reliance. The doctor was suggesting to keep my mother in the hospital for a few more weeks. I decided to leave for US after some encouragement from a cousin and my father. I left on Sept 26th. I was completely overwhelmed by the happenings of the last one month. I was hoping that things would return to normal but did not realize at that time that it may never be the same old.

I would call home everyday twice and talk to my cousin. Finally, after a few more weeks just before Diwali my mother was sent home. The home nurse was there to help her. A physical therapist was sent by the doctor for rehabilitation. Everything looked perfect and all is needed is just executing the plan. But that is where every thing falls apart in India. No one takes their work seriously enough or consider how their involvement or lack thereof would affect the lives of others. The physical therapist never shows up on time and never did a good job in the early days (so we were told later). The nurses change once in a couple of weeks - some complain about the food, place and everything else and find a reason to bail. The reasons that they come out to get out of the place frustrates one and some times make you angry. My dad's main task was to manage them but in his age, he could hardly come to terms with any of them. Five nurses changed in a matter of 2 months and every time there is a change my mother would become very unrested.

I made another trip in November to see my mother and spent 3 weeks and went back. One thing I realized was this is going to be a long process for my mother to be back to normal and it is possible that she may never be the same. The thought was scary.