2011 in rear view mirror

January 2011

Dawn of a new year in India after more than a decade ? I have made plans to go to NC for official reasons. Wife was not feeling well for a couple of weeks before my departure. She is also getting ready to start a new job after a 4 1/2 years break. Left for US in the middle of Jan and just two days into the trip it was chaos with parents back in India. Father had a fall, the caretakers just bailed - it was a mess. Except for a friend life would have been unmanageable. It took a while to get back to normal. Towards the end of the month came back to Bangalore. Wife had started to work.

February - March

Lot of thoughts, discussions etc whether to move back or stay. School year is coming to an end and I had to make decisions quickly whether to re-enroll them in school or not.

April

Deliberations still going on. Got permission from the school to hold off paying the fees until May. Discussions going on with father - he insists that I go back and make my children happy. I cant help but wonder even they are down and under he could only wish for my well-being. My daughters' unhappiness must have made him feel bad and probably guilty. The kids have successfully completed a school year in India. Except for the first three months they had coped up reasonably well, made friends at school and above all my son was the only to get academic excellence in his class. We did not expect that at all. Both of them made us proud for putting up with our decisions, going through tough challenges and changes. They fared well.

May

The decision is made. We are going back to US. I would leave in June and the family will join in August. This will give my wife some time to sink in the work and have a chance to ask for a transfer. I booked my tickets, told my office that I coming up, told my property management that I dont want the tenant to extend the lease and want the house back.

I have never felt taking a decision was so difficult. I have made my decisions based on strong rationale and sound judgement and never looked back on my judgements. This one was the toughest as there was no single decision that could keep all three generations (Parents, wife & the children) happy. I realized there is no right or wrong here, all parties needed my love and presence equally. But it was clear there are consequences of this decision. I had to be away from my wife & kids for longer periods of time and depending on the turn of events it could be worse.

June - July

Made a few more visits to my parents' and finally boarded the plane. Spent a week in hotel before moving into the home. Moved things from the storage, set up the house. But it was lonely. My wife announced to her work that she is leaving and they agreed for her to work remotely until November. We did not expect that but decided to accept it. She and the kids with help from her family started winding down in Bangalore. My wife started to feel passionate now to want to stay back. She loves her work, colleagues, Bangalore life style, frequent visits by/to the family. Kids are also used to Bangalore and started to miss bangalore (before they even left) but also happy to come home.

August

Family made it to NC, took them a couple of weeks to settle down, get admitted to the school and start normal life. Did some work around the house, go about re-acquainting friends and surroundings.

Sep-October

Fairly eventless, wife had started to look for a job. Started to build a house on the site that I had owned for several years in Velachery, Chennai.

November

Started with some health issues, frequent visits to the doctor, some tense moments. Went on an official trip to Taiwan and then embarked to visit parents after 5 months.

December

Parents were hanging in there - it is sad to see how their peaceful life had transformed into a nightmare. Sad to see them struggle in their old age. Spent three weeks and left for US.